Meditation
What does Meditation mean to you? Do you meditate? Join Jennifer and Charity as they explore the often misunderstood practice of meditation. Jennifer describes her journey from doubter to certified instructor and practitioner, while Charity shows that meditation can take many forms, such as prayer, that all help you find your center.
Summary Key Words: meditation , thought , feel , people , meditate , day , sit , moment, coherence , heart , studied , praying , mindfulness , self hypnosis , aware , brain , mantra , guided visualizations , fix
Hello, and welcome to Our Podcast being effing honest, I'm Jennifer Wong.
Charity Rodriguez:And I'm Charity Rodriguez.
Jennifer Wong:We invite you into our conversations about everyday issues experienced by everyday people. We share our stories with honesty and humor, hoping to bring people together in community by showing how vulnerability can deepen bonds when done with kindness and non judgment. We know it's tough. So we'll go ahead and go first. Hi, how do you feel about meditating? That good. So how often would you say you meditate?
Unknown:I would say, If I'm lucky, a few times a year.
Jennifer Wong:Hey, so how do you feel about meditation?
Unknown:I feel like it's something I need to do more.
Jennifer Wong:So how are you there? What is meditation mean to you?
Unknown:To me, it's me sitting in a quiet place. Very comfortable. Eyes closed. And trying to think of nothing. Get absolutely everything out of my head. Which is very hard to do.
Charity Rodriguez:Hi, Jennifer. Hello. How are you?
Jennifer Wong:I am good. How are you doing?
Charity Rodriguez:No, wait, are you really doing good? Because when you hopped on, you weren't looking too good.
Jennifer Wong:Well, I am now because I was rushing. So now that we've been talking, I'm definitely more settled. Absolutely.
Charity Rodriguez:Okay, cool. I was listening. Like I was having a really good morning. And I was listening to this guy, that I, I love his music. And his name is Ben Howard. I don't know if you're familiar with him. But he does, like, I don't know, really slow laid back. But these really heavy lyrics of love loss. Finding yourself just life, you know, having a really crappy day, whatever. So it's my Sunday, lay back, deep and heavy stuffs up. But I was feeling really good. Like, his music wasn't depressing me. It was kind of just like, I'm floating in water. And this is feeling really good. But then I got completely distracted as to why I went on to YouTube to look for something. It made me anxious. Like it then made me like, I'm off. Like, my day I got her. Then I was rushing like, especially like you were rushing. I was like, Are you ever gonna get to do this again? Oh, my God, this is just so I don't know what that's about. But yeah,
Jennifer Wong:I was gonna say what changed that?
Charity Rodriguez:I don't know. I've been trying to think and be a little more meditative, I guess, about my actions in my, how I go about my day and what I do to keep me focus, and to have less distractions. But there you go.
Jennifer Wong:Well, it's not easy. It's not easy to be present, especially with so much that's thrown at us. We're constantly inundated by so much stuff. It's really difficult. It's really difficult and and I find it so interesting that you were really calm, and then just watching something kind of cool, made you feel anxious. And no one really knows the answer to that except ourselves. And that's why I love meditation so much.
Charity Rodriguez:I love it. That is what we're going to talk about today is
Jennifer Wong:meditation. It's a loaded word. And I really have thought about this because I know we don't script things too much. We just kind of have a rough outline. But I really thought about how to do this because I don't want to be a teacher here today. That's, that's what's something and then I was like, I don't want it. This is about us telling stories about our own experiences. And yeah, I can throw in some of it but I thought I don't want to run it like one of my groups. You know, I don't want to run it like a meditation group.
Charity Rodriguez:Yeah, but you have more experience with meditation. So I was hoping to glean a little more insight into it because I gave it a lot of thought to and I was writing down my notes and and thinking about and I had some key moments. I was like, whoa, okay, you know, I this isn't where I thought I was gonna go with this whole thing, but um, you know, here we are. So share your experience with meditation.
Jennifer Wong:Well, let's see, I started meditating about 20 years ago. And it took five years for me to really get into it on a daily basis. Because when I started, I thought it was bullshit, I didn't like it, I couldn't sit still, I hated it, I found myself getting more anxious, when I would close my eyes. And, and I didn't really take any meditation classes, I just kind of listen to what other people would say, or did a little googling. And I didn't realize that I don't have to sit and have my mind completely void of any thought, at least not in the beginning. So I, it's like, I was going to be a professional right away, you know, like, who start something and thinks that the next day, they're going to be a pro. But for some reason, when it came to meditation, it sounded so easy, and, and then what happened is, I would beat myself up for not doing it properly. And I would get so tired of doing what I thought was wrong, that I quit doing it. That's why it took five years because there would be like, probably six months where I would never touch it. I wouldn't even look at it. But from the time I remember sitting down and going, Okay, I'm gonna meditate. I mean to try this, to the time when I finally started doing it, ritually, like three or four times a week was probably five years. And I think a lot of it was because I didn't know the truth about meditation. It's hard. It isn't easy. And when you close your eyes, it gets louder. You know, it just does, especially for people that haven't been practicing. There are some people that will have this total affinity towards it. They'll do great. They'll get right there. But I don't think a lot of us are designed that way. I know I wasn't. So in the beginning, I hated to meditate. And then what changed it? I think was I did self hypnosis. That's what it was. I got into self
Charity Rodriguez:hypnosis. You got into self hypnosis? Yes. Okay, we're going to put a pin in that because we need to come back to what, what keep going.
Jennifer Wong:And so self hypnosis gave me a structure. And when I look back at the teachers process, it's more like a structured meditation, really, because it's just a mantra. It's a mantra meditation was what I was doing with self hypnosis, although there anyway, that's, that's long and drawn out. But it was really just a mantra that I would say to myself over and over and over again. And then that teacher actually gave me the idea that I could just do 30 seconds. Like, why not just start at 30 seconds, why start at 20 minutes, that's really hard when I felt like I was coming out of my skin just sitting there, just sitting there going, and the list the list, the list of all the things I needed to do. And what was funny is because once I got still, I could pay attention to my thoughts. And then the list would get longer because all the stuff that I'm too busy usually, with other things, I wasn't thinking about my list. But now that I was slowing down my list couple louder and longer. And I thought, oh shit, this isn't going to work. But I just kept doing it and doing it. And what my teacher then had told me is, the more you do it, the more those thoughts begin to dump. It's like they start to dump out, dump out dump out. And I didn't believe him, but I think it probably was another month. And I was setting myself for 30 seconds, four days a week. And, and then I kind of got to where I liked it. I thought I really liked this. So then I'd go to a minute, then five minutes, and I just kept increasing. And that made me feel accomplished. You know, I didn't feel like a failure, you know that I couldn't stay in it for a certain amount of time. Okay, so that helped me feel more accomplished. And also during that process, I learned to accept exactly where I am. If this isn't where I am right now. That's okay. And then I got more mindful. And I thought, well, maybe I need to do meditation in the evening before bed, or maybe during my lunch break, you know, just being more self aware of what time is good for me, not what time somebody told me. But what time was good for me. So that none shifted it to.
Charity Rodriguez:But going back to the beginning, you said about 20 years ago. Was there some marked event like what made you think I need to meditate or I'm interested in meditating or you know, like, what made you think I'm really going to try do this meditation thing.
Jennifer Wong:I think it was my first divorce. And I ended up by ways of which I called the universe in a spiritual bookstore. And they had psychic readers and they had all kinds of people there. And I felt like oh my gosh, I found my people. And I started hanging out. And then just by being there, I started learning different ways to be conscious, and meditation kept coming up. So I thought I'd give it a try.
Charity Rodriguez:Did you consider yourself kind of a spiritual person before this?
Jennifer Wong:No.
Charity Rodriguez:Because you had found your people, so I'm like, were you thinking like those you? Were you thinking you were kind of like those people. You just hadn't found them? Or? Yeah. Okay.
Jennifer Wong:I think I didn't even know what I needed until I was immersed in it. And then it felt right. And I thought, Oh, this is good.
Charity Rodriguez:Okay. Okay. Got it. All right. Cool. Cool. Cool.
Jennifer Wong:Yeah, that was a really cool thing that happened. And but it was still too hard. And then I had a, I had a health crisis, right? And that's when I started meditating more regularly. It was actually my health climate crisis. That got me to go study hypnotherapy. Okay. And that's how I found hypnosis, self hypnosis was through my training.
Charity Rodriguez:So you were saying a lot of things that I can echo about what I, you know, what's meditation. And as I was writing down my list of, you know, when I thought about meditation, and what I thought I would address in today's talk, and you were you were hitting it, like, right on the nose. When I think meditation, and the times I've tried it in the past, it was the thought of being so quiet. The thought of not talking. I equated meditation with restraint and not restraint. And this is good for you. You're not going to hurt yourself. But in a no, I can't be quiet. I can't sit still I have to move and you're you're coding you that straight jacket. It was uncomfortable. And there was the word unease. I don't like that is not I don't think that's what people are supposed to be thinking about. Thinking about meditation, but those are all the words. And we've done meditation, like I've attended some of your meditation. group settings. Long ago when I was living out there in California. Oh, yeah. And I remember that I loved it. I remember when, you know, your aunt would say, hey, Jennifer is having another meditation thing this weekend. And it's like, but I really wasn't thinking about selling my house. I wasn't really thinking like, Oh, we're gonna go meditate. I was thinking, we're gonna get fro you afterwards. Like I look as you were, you were living so close to the water. And I was so inland. So it's just like, yes, a day at the beach. And we're just gonna be walking around and like, we'll do this meditation thing. And yeah. And then we're gonna go and just relax.
Jennifer Wong:While it hadn't been, it had its benefits.
Charity Rodriguez:Also, back in another talk you had talked about? You were intimidated? No, you were in a competition with women. And your group at that time was women like it's a women that you were, you know, doing the meditation with. And I have never considered myself in competition with women, but I was intimidated by other women. And so I did think this would be an opportunity for me to address that intimidation like to be comfortable with other women because other women scared me. Like more surefooted women, aggressive women, women that I thought were smart women or sexually forward women. And I was not any of that. And so I just thought oh, this will be cool. Like yeah, women power we're going to connect and get together and you know, talk girl stuff, but then it was just like, I just want to go get bro you. And then I want to go to the beach. What do you have a lovely voice. And it did help me be quiet for a moment. But the lists were there. Like I was going through the list I would just be and the list never ever, ever stopped and cuz that's where I'm at now, like, I'm still at that point, like I can't think of, I haven't gotten to the point where you have, but you are personal, you know,
Jennifer Wong:let's be honest, I have days where that list is too much for me still, I have, it's still too much. I don't just sit down and Zen out all the time, I have more tools so that when I do get like that I know what to do. But I still have days where I just I set my timer for 20 minutes, I do five and I'm just up, I'm like, forget it, I can't do it. And then I, you know, I accept myself and I move on. Sometimes I have to use other tools, which I've, you know, I've gathered many, many tools. But to be completely honest, I do not sit down every day and sit and Zen and do my meditation. You know, that happens? Maybe 60 70% of the time, but not all the time. But for me just the act of giving myself the grace to do it. It shifts, it shifts things for me, even if I don't sit and do my full time. It does shift things for me. But I also have learned so many things. So when my brain is really loud, like that I like to write. And there was this woman Julia Cameron that wrote the artists way back in the 90s, which changed my life by the way, I think I can thank her for my second divorce. And a lot of people that do this, end up divorced. But I was
Charity Rodriguez:getting a lot of people check it out. But no, I'm like, I don't think so.
Jennifer Wong:That's not true. I shouldn't say that. There was one other person I knew that had gotten divorced, that done the the book and I started laughing about it. But a lot of people end up feeling very creative, it opens the creativity. And a lot of it is just becoming more conscious and aware is what I got from it. But one of the things that she had us do every day while we were doing this process, which I think I did over 12 weeks, it's a 12 week deal was every morning you're supposed to do the morning pages, they're called. And you basically write I think she wanted three full pages front and back. And you just free right? So the first thing that comes to mind, you just write it you keep writing and you keep writing any those lists, you make your list, you write whatever comes to your mind. As soon as it comes to your mind. You write it down. And so I love doing that. Because I had some I was like going through divorce. Well, I was thinking about getting divorced when I started this. And there was so much I could not meditate because all I kept thinking about was the kids the shame? How am I going to do this? Do I call a lawyer? How much is it going to cost? Who's keeping what how am I going to stay here? He's so overpowering, will I be able to hold my voice? Oh my God, he's gonna win. I mean, it was loud. So what I started doing was I started writing. And I would write those three pages. And it felt like it just dumped everything. And then I could sit for five minutes and just really connect to my heart. So that really was a good tool to help me get past that list. Okay, because I think acknowledgement is more important than restriction or distraction. You know, I think that, for me, the acknowledgement of what's going on, in my mind has been way more important than trying to just distract and push it under the rug, because it would end up getting me I'd end up yelling at my kids, or I'd be anxious in the car, or it would just get me
Charity Rodriguez:Do you? Would you say that? Through meditation? That's how we get strength, we gather strength through meditation, or how else would you? How else would we draw string through meditation?
Jennifer Wong:Good question. And so I want to start with a definition. I haven't looked at the definitions in like 15 years, and I thought, I wonder what's out there now. Oh, my gosh, yeah. Webster's to everything has their own definition of it. Yeah, the one that I liked was okay, engage in contemplation or reflection for heightened awareness. That, to me was the best combination of the definitions. Okay, we engage in collagen, engage in contemplation or reflection for heightened awareness.
Charity Rodriguez:Or heightened awareness. Yeah, that's deep and that's scary. That is very scary.
Jennifer Wong:And, and I, I felt scared too. I often thought, what am I going to uncover? And if I can cover it, then what am I going to do and can I handle it? And do I want to walk around with this uncovered throughout my very busy day.
Charity Rodriguez:Yes. Okay. That's why I am not into meditation because I feel exposed. And then there's no, I need an answer I need like, what's going to be the fix? Like I don't want to expose, I can do that myself, I'm very honest with myself about what I am, what I'm not what I'm doing what's going on wherever where I'm at. But it's like, how do I fix it? Or change it or cover it back up? Or whatever, like,
Jennifer Wong:Well, can you just let it be? Are you okay? With just letting it be?
Charity Rodriguez:No, and that may be part of the problem. Because I can't let things be I do think I have to fix things. And I'm learning then I don't always have to fix things. But it's gotten me into this fifth decade of living that I realized, I don't always have to fix things I can, and I should let things go. But there's still it's still very hard. It's still very hard. And the meditation like I, just thinking about meditation, I want that tranquility, I want that peace. But I don't know, it's that it's, it's, it's a lot, there's a lot going on, like people just think like, Oh, you just stop. And yeah, you'll just immediately have this wave of tranquility that'll pass over you and you know, realign and reset you.
Jennifer Wong:And sometimes you get moments of that, I think there are moments of that if you're doing a guided meditation in your, you know, you're sitting for a certain amount of time, I think that you will go through moments of feeling the Tranquility, and then the brain will come back and pull you out, then you'll go it's almost like a tennis match, you know, you're lobbying back and lobbying back and forth. Yeah, a little bit. So even what I, in my research, what I found during doing my groups for over a decade was that even if you get like 10 to 15 seconds of that tranquility, it goes into the subconscious. And, and then and it doesn't leave. And I think that's why over time, when I kept at the meditation, it was building on that subconscious belief that when I sit like this, there is even if it's a second of tranquility, and my body likes it, and your subconscious will store whatever it likes, and it'll keep trying to find that match. And that's why we can get stuck in bad loops to like maybe a cigarette gave us five minutes apiece. And so that's the only way we know what to get that for, you know, and then we get stuck in that loop. So it will go in there. Even if it's 1520 seconds of goodness, it does go in there and over time. With you know, regularity. It goes deeper.
Charity Rodriguez:Is that the same for sugar and candy?
Jennifer Wong:Everything?
Charity Rodriguez:Everything's my five minutes of releases, like, just give me that sugar.
Jennifer Wong:And going back to just being when I said, Are you okay, just letting things be? I think that was a big question that I asked myself, like, can I just let these things be? Can I take my claws out of things? And let them naturally occur? Because the reality the truth, the absolute truth? Is it it happens like that, anyway, I'm not in control of everything. I don't fix everything that comes into my awareness. Anyway, that's like this big lie that I've been telling myself is that if I'm on it, I'm fixing it. Because that's not true. There's so many things that go on and in my life that I don't attend to that work out just fine. And that was one of the things I started realizing was, I have let this stuff be in my head for 30 years already. It's not like just because I'm aware of it. I can't let it be. It's been just sitting there lying in wait for 30 years. What's what's going to change it? Because now that I'm aware of it, it's still gonna be
Charity Rodriguez:Oh, I don't know. I don't know that one's a hard one. Because once I know when I know about something, then I feel like I have to fix it or I have to be involved or I have to do I have to engage. If I don't know, then I don't know. Like it just happened then whatever happens is beyond my control, because that had nothing to do with me because that's just the way of the world but I think I think I go at things in that. Like if I don't have an answer, then I have to put it in the I'm going to ignore you and I'm going to look over here because I can't do anything about it and what is to be is to be but the things No matter how small or big they are that involve me or my, you know, my children, my family, whatever, I find no, I have to do something.
Jennifer Wong:Well, what if the doing something is to continue meditating? What if that is to do.
Charity Rodriguez:And that is a good note. Because it's a good note,
Jennifer Wong:one of the things that I've noticed with my clients and with myself is that the more we meditate, the more we get really clear about the next steps. When I don't meditate, I know I have all these things I gotta do. But I don't know what is a priority. I don't know the next step, I've also been able to be more creative and innovative. So then I see a alternative that I never saw before. So, for example, I have had major anxiety and high blood pressure, especially when I go to the doctor. Since I was 18 years old, I remember I moved out on my own, I went to an eye doctor, he took my blood pressure, which I'd never had a doctor an eye doctor take my blood pressure, and it was really high. And that's when he started suggesting all these things for us, like, you know, you're 19 years old, or 18, whatever it was, in your blood pressure is way too high. And I thought, Oh my God, and then that stressed me out more, because I didn't know why. And I'm so young, there must be something wrong with me. So I saw a bunch of doctors and kept working out blah, blah, blah. But anyway, when I started doing meditation, I would really do the self hypnosis practice while sitting in the waiting room to see my doctor. And sometimes it would work, and sometimes it wouldn't. But what I found with meditation was the meditation itself did not necessarily give me the answer I wanted. But through doing meditation, I was led and really clear of where to go. So finally, it took a long time that I think we all come in our own time, I was led to the somatic trauma therapy, which I'd never thought that I had trauma. And then once I did that, I don't have that anxiety at the doctor anymore. So it's not always meditation is the end all be all, but it can lead to things that I didn't see before that can help me. Okay, or help others.
Charity Rodriguez:Okay, that's a that's a way. Okay. I like that. I like the way you frame that, like, Okay, I'm on board. Now I get it. I can go to there. That that's cool. All right. It's not the answer. But it's, it led you to where to go? It could. So it could it could and I like that versus I have to have the yes or the no or red door green door, whatever. Just no, no, just listen, and then you'll get better idea and understanding of your next actions. Okay, let me ask you this. Because I, you know, I also was doing a little research to like, what's meditation? Finding it? What does that all that mean? And I was reading, and I was getting, I'm not confused. But to me, sometimes meditation and spirituality are used inter changeably? Or what do you think? What do you think? Like, can you use those two words? You know, the same? Do they have different meanings?
Jennifer Wong:It's all of it. It's all of it. There are secular meditations. And there are spiritual meditations. And I think the more you get into it, you find your own combination blend of whatever you want. I really do. And as meditation teachers, there may be a certain type that one person really becomes an expert at. And you just you, you see if it fits for you. For me, I do both. So you know, mindfulness is not considered meditation. When I studied with the way my high school,
Charity Rodriguez:mindfulness, how define that then
Jennifer Wong:they said, mindfulness is not meditation, and I perked up and I said, Well, what is it? And they, they call it more of a process of just being in the moment. Whatever. See, for me, I'm like, whatever, call it whatever you want. It's still creating a heightened sense of awareness, which I find to be my favorite definition, right? Engage in contemplation or reflection for heightened awareness, and mindfulness. When I studied I actually did study this and trained in it, that it's about being in the moment and the best way to be in the moment is to heighten your awareness using your senses. So what do you see? What do you feel right now? What do you Hear, do you have any taste? Is there any fragrance, so you use all five senses, and you just become really aware of being in this moment. And I find that really helpful to get grounded. And then from there, I might do a mantra meditation, or I might do a walking meditation, or I might go into I also studied shamanic journeying, which is a whole nother thing. But it's kind of like a guided visualization that you take yourself on. But I couldn't go to any of that until I was present. So I blend mindfulness into my meditation all the time. Sometimes when I'm driving, and my kids yapping at me, I've got a whole list of things to do with work. And I, I just have to tell myself, my feet are on the pedals. My hands are on the steering wheel. I'm watching what's coming, I'm looking in the mirrors, like, I sometimes have to very much do that. And that's mindfulness is just being grounded and present in the moment. Which also means that when thoughts and emotions come that I don't like, I just have to notice them and not fix them and say, That's a feeling I don't like, I'm staring at the computer. I'm touching the floor, you know, Oh, okay. And there's that thought, god damn it. Oh, and I'm here, and I'm touching the floor, and my butt is on the pillows, you know? And so it can be that, that blend.
Charity Rodriguez:This sounds like hard work. I'm just telling you, like, Wait a second. I know, we were gonna do this much work. I thought you were gonna say like you didn't want it just makes me feel good. I just like go with it. But it does. Well, I know. But the thought of the, the mindfulness part because that word is thrown around a lot mindfulness, mindfulness, let's be mindful everyone. And it's like, well, what does that really mean? Like, I feel like it's lost its meaning and whatever the original intention was, it's kind of gone. And it's just so overused. But now it's like, okay, all right, that makes sense. Being in the moment, absorbing everything and being aware of everything. And even even just holding the steering wheel feet on the pedals, is like that does ground you that does bring you back into the moment of like, what are you doing? You are in the car, what is the purpose of UBI you're holding, and you're doing and you're doing all of these things. And you're not just getting lost further and further and further afield. Far, far flung afield of where you're at. It's like, letting a balloon just kind of lift you off when like, No, you need to just kind of stay right here. Right? We need
Jennifer Wong:to be very grounded. Yes. And that's what I love about the shamanic work is it's very grounded. I've, I've studied other things where it's very going in the ethers, which I enjoy that too. You know, since I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I don't have sex anymore. I want to go off into the ethers, right. So I don't have anything that I really like, get to, like get into so I sometimes I love those. But I do. Absolutely to get through my day, I love the mindfulness piece. Okay, I am here, I am grounded touch my skin. You know, one of the My Favorite Things to start meditation is just to touch the upper part of your hands. So you rub the top of your hands. And it's a very soothing, and it's also because there's touch, it can like ground me into Oh, I'm right here, I can feel my hands rubbing my hands. And it's nice, you know, and it's not as much as like, hugging myself, I can just that light touch of one hand over the back of the other hand is very sweet. And so that has become a trigger, like just be here. Feel your body, get in your body.
Charity Rodriguez:Okay, now, we talked about what meditation is. But then you've brought up a few, I don't know, variations or points of, you know, meditation. So I'm just I know that there are different types of meditation. But can you touch briefly on what some of those different types of meditation are? Because you're like talking about shamanic stuff or walking meditation. You know, like, Okay, what is all that? I mean, it's go to the yoga spine. This is chill,
Jennifer Wong:yes, yoga meditation member because it's anything that engages in contemplation and reflection for heightened awareness. So just about anything can be meditation, the ones that I have, kind of more formally gone on to were, like guided visualizations, I think are really powerful. Because when you can see something in your mind and feel it in your body at the same time, super powerful and I remember reading about a study they did during one of the 80s Olympics. And they did it with track and field. And they just, they would hook the athletes up to like a monitor that would register their body like biofeedback. Okay, and then in their mind, they would just close their eyes. And they would just review their race from the moment the gun went off to them crossing the finish line. Yeah, and even though they were sitting perfectly still, the electrodes would, that were attached to maybe their leg muscles, or our muscles would fire off, like as if they were actually running, but they were sitting perfectly still. And that reminded me of how powerful our mind and body are connected. So guided visualizations can be really helpful. Ooh, that's really cool. And I want to take that into something else. But I want to end with that something else. So there's also breathing is really powerful. Just being aware of the breath breathing in and out, it's very grounding. Plus, you get the oxygen. I, I practiced Zen meditation for probably a year. It Well, it's a Jap. And I think Zen is Japanese originally. And it's, it's basically a sitting meditation where you really just focus on your breath, you just stay mindful in the moment too. But what I glean gleaned out of it was really this breathing, and they taught me a specific way to breathe, you know, in through the nose. And then as you breathe out, you really let the exhale be long. That was like the biggest thing that I got out of that. I know there's a whole bunch more, but that was a big thing. There's Transcendental Meditation, which they're like the biggest ones. It was started by the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, in the 1950s. In India, he ended up teaching the Beatles and The Beatles made it popular, but he was all over the world by the 70s. Everybody was, knew who the Maharishi was, if they were into meditation at all. And it I haven't. So here's the funny thing is after I had my second baby, and I had super high blood pressure, and what I was doing wasn't working. And I hadn't gotten to the somatic trauma piece yet. I thought, I need to do Transcendental Meditation, because all the stars are doing it. Oprah does it, like just look on their website. It's all the stars support it now. But it is very expensive. It is super expensive, was cost prohibitive. So why is
Charity Rodriguez:it so expensive? It's like tuition, it's just supposed to be the quiet with yourself or whatever, what do you
Jennifer Wong:need it because if you want to learn it, and I think, you know, I think you get a personal mantra is what I've seen on the website. And I know people that have done it, and they they're like sworn to secrecy. So they can't tell you what it is. But it you basically I think you get your own personal mantra, and then you do that for 20 minutes. And it's not about mind control I saw on their website, it's not about that. It's just about repeating. So a mantra meditation is another thing where you just repeat something over and over, you notice what comes up, and then you just say it again and say it again. And eventually, it shifts the energy in the brainwaves in your body. But Transcendental Meditation is where most of the research, if you look up, like real peer reviewed type research on meditation, it's through the transcendental group or organization. They have the most money of David Lynch support some, but and I think they you become a trainer and then you go and you learn from what people come to you to learn. And then you make your money, basically doing this. So the one I went to 11 years ago to try to do this. It was like $900 and I just couldn't do it at the time. And I was kind of sad that it was so expensive, because I really wanted to try it.
Charity Rodriguez:Okay, that right now. Now something so wonderful and powerful and whole film Tez turned my little suspicious mind into now the words that are coming up are that sounds like a cult. That sounds like mind control. That sounds like you know exclusivism and elitism and someone like why am I having to pay money like crazy amounts of money for that night now I gotta look into that Jennifer. Shoot.
Jennifer Wong:But what irregardless and I think if you're called to it, I think and to be honest, I think they do offer scholarships if you need it. I think they will work around it but I also understand that these people have devoted their life and they need to survive pay it's the comes their you know, they gotta pay for their house and they're so I'm i i Let go of that if that is what they're called, there are plenty people that will support that. And I do believe there are possibly scholarships available. But regardless, like, I think their research is good. When I've looked at the research from TM, it's really, it's solid, like, I really appreciate it. So I'm glad that they're out there. And they've been doing, you know, they've been doing research for decades on this, but like, as far as it helps your
Charity Rodriguez:that research is available to me, you
Jennifer Wong:can find it online. Okay. All right. Okay, yeah, you can find some of it online. And so, I love mantra meditations. One of my favorite meditations is a mantra meditation, where you create your own mantra, based on your values. Okay, and you know, and then there's nature, meditations, just being out in nature and being aware of how you feel in nature, noticing the, you know, the trees, the grasses, the dirt, the animals around you, also helps to be very, very present. So I love nature meditations. I know I'm missing some, there's so many. But I want to tell you what I've loved his heart math. If you haven't heard of Heart Math, and you're a researcher, I highly recommend looking at Heart Math. And they have a free learning called the Heart Math experience. And I've known about heart, heart math for about 20 years. And I love what they're doing. But to be honest, I haven't signed up and dove into any of their trainings. But I got their idea is it's really important to connect with the heart. And they're very technologically savvy, a, you know, advanced, they have this cool little gizmo that I am going to buy. And it's Bluetooth, and it hooks to your phone on an app and you put it on your ear and on your chest. And it it's kind of like a biofeedback feedback machine specifically designed on the electromagnetic field of your heart. I know that sounds way too sciency. But basically, it's what they have learned is the heart is way more powerful magnetically than the brain. And all we have done is give all of our power to our brain. So I was listening to there, I actually am taking the Heart Math experience training right now. And what they have discovered through actual science is that the heart has its own nervous system and its own brain that connects to our brain. So as much as we think our brain, we're trying to put it into our heart, our heart is sending way more messages to our brain than the other way. So in meditation, if we can connect to that, it's way more powerful. Because we have to get to the feeling of things. That is where I've seen meditation for the most part, especially for me. So when I started, because I was all focused on my mind, you know, hypnosis, everything was in my mind, even though it was supposed to be connecting to my body, I was just hyper focused on my brain, what I was thinking, where it was at what was going on how I could fix, right, that's all up here. And then when I looked at Heart Math, like 1520 years ago, it was, wow, why don't I see what's going on in my heart, and it was the hardest thing. But it's really easy because our heart is in coherence with our feelings. And we have when we look at our children's sleeping, that is HeartMath that is a feeling when we watch other people helping each other. That is a feeling that we get when we watch something where people are being abusive to each other. That is a feeling like that is what has the most power for us to shift our thoughts, our awareness. It helps us to be more contemplative, because now I'm focused on what is the feeling when I'm interacting in these spaces, heightened awareness, right. So really getting into the heart,
Charity Rodriguez:okay, but those things that you've described, I feel are like those are just natural things that occur for us we are like if you have any ounce of compassion, you will feel something if you you know are looking and holding your child and someone gets hurt or whatever, like those are natural occurring emotions and feelings and sensations that we all have. So why do we need a button in our you know, connected to our heart and to our year to like I feel like that's just happening every day that that's what what's how happening. Why? Why the gadget? Why the gizmo
Jennifer Wong:and that's not for everybody, it's for me, because what you what I've also learned is, the more that we are connected to our heart and aware of our heart, it creates peace, it creates balance, it creates calm, it helps us to see alternatives and be creative, it opens up our world. So there's high coherence and coherence is basically the internal synchronization between the heart and the brain. That's coherence. That's the definition. How aligned are is our heart in our brain, basically. And if and high coherence means you're very aligned, and it means that we get to bring in those good feelings and everything. Like, I think the gadget for me will just help me focus on am I being more in my heart or more in my brain, because my brain is not really a nice place. It's harsh, and it's judgmental. And it tells me how I can't do things and the dangers, if I don't control things. That's what my head tells, yes, my heart tells me, but look at how beautiful it is right now. Look at all the gratitude, and how good my life is, right now. And if I can, in my mind, what I'm thinking is if I could bring more of that energy into my awareness, I will have more balance, more peace or self control, more love, more compassion, and that is what I want. So it really depends on what you want. Okay, I just think it's gonna be fun. Because as much as I sound like a woowoo, and I'm just hid into this stuff. I started out very much a naysayer. And I still to this day, and I have trust issues. So I will, I will feel things out before I jump into it. And that's another, you know. So, for me, it's what I've noticed is when I am more in a compassionate state, my life just runs better. And I want to have this little gadget to see where I'm at, like, I kind of want it for validation, because I think I know where I'm at and when I'm there, but it would be nice to see it. And to be honest, I want to get my kids to do this. And if they see it, because most people won't do something until they see it. You know, I won't leave it till I see it. That's me. This will be maybe you'll be able to actually see meditation helping you in your life with a little gadget and and an app.
Charity Rodriguez:Okay, well, a couple. So that's
Jennifer Wong:my answer. That's why That's why the gadget. All right,
Charity Rodriguez:first of all, I think it's funny that you said that you are you have trust issues, and you're not very trusting because I, my observation of you is that your way were trusting that I would ever be you engage and try out so many things that I'm the person charity
Jennifer Wong:are going that's 20 years of meditation. I'm telling you, when I say I still have trust issues, it's like 10%, as opposed to 90% that I used to. I've come a long way.
Charity Rodriguez:Well, I, I may still be on the journey towards being trusting. I don't know that I'll ever be like fully trusting because I am so suspicious. And I think there's a conspiracy about whatever, but I just I am not trusting everybody. I have to touch it. Oh, no, I don't think that's a good idea and see it before I will, you know, go okay, like you have my vote. But
Jennifer Wong:yeah, we should still be discerning for sure. Oh, yes.
Charity Rodriguez:And I think Yeah, I absolutely. That is the right word discerning people need to be more discerning. And you know, and that's just that, but in regards to meditation, I have a story to tell. Oh, good. My parents. You know, when they were alive, they had a little room. And my parents were Episcopalian slash Catholic. And they didn't go to church. After a while they stopped going to church because, you know, they were older and it was just too much of a hassle and whatever. But they were deeply religious people. They kind of set up a little altar, if you will, in this little room, and it had their saints and it had this picture of, you know, this oversize picture of Jesus that you will find in every Latinos house. You will find the oversized picture of Jesus somewhere. But my mom had it. She had all over the house, but this was her, her specialty. And she had her scenes and it was a little altar. And it had we always put white flowers on there and every Night, like about either eight or nine o'clock, my parents would go into the room and they would have like two or three chairs in there. And they would just, sometimes I would hear them in there talking, you need your word, whatever, sometimes they would just be quiet. And when I moved back, and I was kind of, you know, caring for them, and I would be there to go pick up the kids, but then, you know, just end up staying a little extra, and we're watching TV or whatever, but then they would still get up and go into their room, they would invite me that charity, come sit with us. And, like, I knew they were in there. But I didn't really want to go in there. I didn't want to go into that room. I was like, Oh, why? Why do I have to go into the room, and not that I thought at the horrible was going on, but I didn't want to sit and be quiet or i and it was their prayer room, they would, you know, we we would call it their prayer room. Because at the end of everything, whatever what else was going on, they would pray. And I did not want to go in there. But whatever, I being the good girl that I am, yes, Mommy. And I would go into the room. So we would sit there and you know, sometimes they would just be asking me about the day and what was going on and telling me things that they observed with the children and funny little, you know, this, that and the other. And then we would just be quiet and just sit there. And then at the end of it, they would start their prayers. And my mother would always know my father would start, my mother would ask my father's start. And then he would say and our Father in this is all in Spanish and say they're our father, then they would read a passage out of the Bible. And then they would start praying, like kind of systematically. They're praying for family, they're praying for the World Peace they're praying for, you know, if there's a major conflict that they saw in the news, they would pray for peace and calm and you know, good resolution. If a friend was in the hospital, they would be praying for those friends, they would pray for the neighbors. And the children that they saw running across the street, just playing their ball that they never talked to, they just would pray that they, you know, grow up safe and sound and, you know, live good lives. And just praying, praying, praying, praying, praying for everyone and everything. And I was so hesitant I, I didn't want to do it. But that was a part that got me like when I would sit more and more and more. And I would just like what the heck is wrong with you charity, like they're praying. They're praying for peace. They're praying for love. They're praying for compassion. Why can't you pray quite good. What is so wrong with praying and trying to pray? And that I got into that. After they passed away, I realized I missed them. Like, I was always fighting, and I would go into the room. But then I got it. Like, it clicked for me that this was their meditation, if you will. This was their way to reset, bring their mind and the spirit to rest at the end of the day to contemplate, and it was they never prayed for themselves. They prayed for everybody else. They were happy with what they had in life. They didn't want a bigger house. They didn't want a faster car. They don't want they were just like, we're good where we are. And they were just praying and I could feel that. That quietness. Like after they passed away, I understood. I don't I don't know why why, like after they passed away that I get it. Why did he pass away then I was like, oh shoot, I missed an opportunity to, you know, be there. Be mindful, be in the moment, you know, as you will. And so that's the closest and that for me is when I recognized and identified that to me. That prayer and that moment that that time of prayer was meditation and meditation that I could connect with a meditation where I had to be quiet but then I was also being active and I was also being gauged that I could I could be fine with that. I was like that's metal question that's emitted. That's it. And then I went, and when I was reading and looking up, you know, what's meditation and spirituality and whatever. And in the, you know, Christian world or whatever it said, the contemplation, and I'd forgotten about contemplation like, oh, yeah, we used to have to do that, like in grade school of contemplation time or whatever. Because I went to a Catholic school. But it was, you know, they defined it as it's the focus. contemplation is when you focus intently on a question on an idea. And you, you're just thinking through all of that, and my parents would ask questions at the beginning of it, like, there wouldn't be a question of the day because, you know, sometimes, depending on something that they had witnessed, either on the news on the TV at the grocery store, and interaction with people, and there'll be like, Why do you think that is? Why do you think that they? They did, what do you think that they could have done better? What do you think, you know, what would you do? And they would just sit and talk it through. And it was like, Oh, wow, these people were way ahead of their time. Yes, yes. And I was blind. I was very, very blind, and deaf and dumb to this wonderful experience that was happening right before me.
Jennifer Wong:So when you became aware of this, after your parents passed, did you do anything different?
Charity Rodriguez:I did what I swore I would never do. I created my own little altar.
Jennifer Wong:Perfect. Nice. My
Charity Rodriguez:brother had had some things up in his attic that he was going through. And he was like, here's some things and I was able to get them the house. You know, I think some of it's yours, whatever. And he had drove out here we had visited, he jumped off the boxes. And I think the boxes stayed up there for like an hour or so. I mean, not an hour, a year, a year, the box a year before I like, okay, these boxes and see what's in there. And in one of those boxes, was the one frame of Jesus that my mom had in her little room, which again, I suppose like, I'm not going to have an oversight or just any big, you know, picture of Jesus, like, why do we have to have that? And it's not that I'm anti religion, like, I am fine with religion, but it was just that Oh, I don't know. Like, it was just the the thing. The thing about being Latino and having Jesus everywhere, and having the saints out in your yard. And just like, I just didn't want that. But there it was, like, and I was like, that wasn't even mine. That was my mom's like, how did that get up in the box of my stuff? And I asked my brother, like, did you put that in there? I don't know. That was just the box is a box that said your name on I just grabbed the box. And there you go. And I was like
Jennifer Wong:mom and dad are working it.
Charity Rodriguez:I know. And I do believe. Like, there's so many things that I do believe it, but I'm like, Okay, talk to me. Yeah. So I, I didn't know what to do with it. I had it in a drawer for the longest time. And then it pulled it out. And now I have it up, I have a little altar. I have my little seeds, I have a I have I found I like went crazy and found every single oration that we would do. And I do it in Spanish. And I can speak Spanish and but my reading is like a little so but I have it in me like, okay, it's quiet, everybody's gone. And I will sit there and I would just pull out like a redacted copy your father in Westeros. And it kind of like I can hear my father's voice I could hear like it's a time job. It's a time very valuable thing. And it takes me back in that moment. And I'm in that room and I can hear it. And I can feel that sense of calm that I could only ever feel in that room in that space. And I'm seeing it and and as you're talking you're talking about the mantra, and you know having a mantra meditation, and I'm like prayer. Prayer is mantra meditation. That's what it is because you see these prayers over and over and over and it changes and you get something new every time. There's a new one to it. There's a new application to whatever's going on in your life. So there you go.
Jennifer Wong:So you're meditating, and you don't even know it. I and you're shamanic, and you don't even know it, you're working with your ancestors, and you don't even know it. And you're doing the Heart Math, and you don't even know it, because you said, feeling and being there, that's all that you're doing it
Charity Rodriguez:the feeling. Now, when you had talked about earlier, the feeling I was like, That is heightened sensitivity that is being empathic that and but like so empathic that sometimes it can hurt. And I don't want to feel that level of hurt. I, you know, you're telling me you're seeing other people and feeling. You know, it should spark some kind of feeling. And for me, I'm like, Oh, my gosh, it's so overwhelming. In my life. It is so much. It's too much. Like, if you come to me crying, I, I can feel your pain. And I don't know why. I don't know. I don't want to. That's too much. So I have to close myself off from people. I know that I can't get too close to people or whatever, because their pain is my pain, their suffering is my suffering there, you know? And not like, I know, I know, I'm sounding like I'm Jesus Christ. I am. Not but I'm like, when you see like when I know when I know that you're hurting, I have to fix that.
Jennifer Wong:What if the fix is just to connect back to a good feeling. Because we I mean, I get it empathic is a very tough place to be. And I think more of us are empathic than we think we've just learned mechanisms to protect and wall up and yes, but I think in that protection, it's also kept us isolated. So there's got to be a balance in there. And I love that you brought that up. I think, for the Heart Math part is. So there's high coherence, right? Where you're feeling like you had mentioned, being with my mom, my mom and dad, I think you said hearing my dad's voice, I'm right there, I can feel it. That's good coherence, right? That is uplifting, it's healing, it feels good. And then there is when we see somebody hurting. Yeah. And we feel compassion for him. And then once we start taking it on, that's low coherence, that's when we need to say, Oh, how can I shift this, right? And sometimes it is just saying, Okay, this is enough. But other times, what if we can go back to that feeling that you had, when it felt good, when you thought about your dad's voice and you say the mantra, then you're not taking it on, what you're doing is you're creating this high coherence, that you're no longer taking on the low coherence of somebody else. And maybe in your shifting to a higher vibration, that's helping them in ways that we can't explain. Okay, without having to physically make it better for them? What if we could energetically make it better for them. And that's what the HeartMath Institute has really studied is that we are energetic beings. And we're all blending whether we know it or not, imagine if we were more aware of that blending. And we could bring ourselves back to a place where we are more stable in that compassionate feeling for ourselves and others, like how much better could we be for someone instead of freaking out and feeling terrible? You know, data? Do you know what I'm saying? They're like, if we could be more aware of our own coherence, and then we can raise that vibration again, I think we'd be more useful to somebody than cutting them off and running away. Okay. Yes, some way agree.
Charity Rodriguez:I agree. I can I can go with that.
Jennifer Wong:I can. So maybe it is because you said I want to fix it. What if one that is an option for fixing things?
Charity Rodriguez:That's how to fix it? Or it could Yes, I don't. Yes, I agree. Because I've had to do that with my children. I had to let go not fix it, just try to be more mindful because they are becoming their own person. I'm not trying to turn them into a, you know, replica or clone of myself. They have a little bit of meat in them. And that's what's going to power them as they blossom into their own being. And that is hard sometimes. Because you see, they're suffering as you're suffering. But it's not it's their suffering. It is their evolution, their development, their their experience to make them who they are, which is not you. It's them. So you need to, but like I said, don't cut them off, just build up
Jennifer Wong:that are the higher vibration, co higher vibrations,
Charity Rodriguez:coherence, that's the word, the high, coherent, to still be able to be useful and be engaged and be part versus walled off disconnected and are just gone.
Jennifer Wong:So I like just what we need for community, right? We can't be isolated and running away and call ourselves part of a community.
Charity Rodriguez:Yes, that is so, so true. And I'm working on that. And we're working on that. That's what we're trying to do. Yes, trying to do
Jennifer Wong:that. And meditation could help.
Charity Rodriguez:So does it matter who can meditate?
Jennifer Wong:Now, anybody can meditate? People are doing it anyway, like you just shared? You're doing it and you don't even know it? What if we did it on purpose?
Charity Rodriguez:But does it matter where you meditate?
Jennifer Wong:No, whatever you're most comfortable with. But I
Charity Rodriguez:just got back from a trip I was telling you about the trip. You always talk about being disconnected and wanting to just relax and get away from it all. But I was in a rainforest. And I was completely disconnected. There was no Wi Fi no nothing, we were just out there with nothing. And that was the fastest that I've ever been disconnected that I've ever been mindful that I've ever been. Just, there was no list. There was no list. There was no running commentary in my head about you know, you're a bad person, you should have done things better. Like what the heck are you thinking and I gotta go the grocery store and get the kids to the doctor and, you know, fill out all these. None of that like I it just because you're there. There's nothing you don't have any anything, anything to do. But listen, and feel. Because you feel if you do not feel the canopy and the power and the covering and the strength of the power of a rainforest. Then you're dead. Yeah, just a dead zombie being because, like, it's so overwhelming, like the noise of that is so overwhelming was so powerful. That it just it forced me to be quiet. And I loved it. I was not scared by it. I was not. I always think I'd be scared. But I was it and it was. It was a wonderful feeling. So
Jennifer Wong:yes, nature meditation is huge. I agree. That's awesome that you had that experience. And you can take that feeling and that experience and bring it back at any time. That's the trick. Like now I'm home. The lists are here. I recognize my list. Now let me just spend a few minutes bringing back that feeling being under the canopy in the jungle. Yes. And you can us and that's what and then that starts to raise your vibration and it is like a Healing Salve to the mind. The body the emotions. Yes.
Charity Rodriguez:It's wonderful. I'll nature as awesome
Jennifer Wong:as I can. So you are meditating and it's not scary. See?
Charity Rodriguez:Well, it's just for me. That's all.
Jennifer Wong:That was awesome. Yay. All right.
Charity Rodriguez:Yay. Thank you for listening to being effing honest with your hosts, Jennifer Wong and charity Rodriguez. Subscribe to our show wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you have a suggestion, question or topic you want us to talk about, connect with us at www being effing honest.com And until next time, we hope you're always being effing honest
Listen On
