Inner Critic

Hello, and welcome to Our Podcast being effing honest, I'm Jennifer Wong.

And I'm Charity Rodrigues.

We invite you into our conversations about everyday issues experienced by everyday people. We share our stories with honesty and humor, hoping to bring people together in community by showing how vulnerability can deepen bonds when done with kindness and non judgment. We know it's tough. So we'll go ahead and go first. Hello, and welcome to Our Podcast being effing honest, I'm Jennifer Juan. And I'm Charity Rodriguez. And we invite you into our conversations of everyday issues experienced by everyday people with honesty, humor, and authenticity. Our hope is to bring people together and community by creating safe environments of non judgement. And we know this can be tough. So we will go ahead and go first.

Okay, let me tell you real quick what I've been doing, because I'm pretty excited about it. This Friday, and yesterday, Saturday, I was at a conference, and it was the Texas business woman conference, and it took place on a San Antonio Antara drive an hour and a half everyday to get there. But I went because, you know, I had all these business ideas in my head, and I was just in the mode of how do I do a business plan? How do I get some funding loans? How do I do what banks? How do I want to do investors? Do I want to what does all of this mean? It was just a lot of lean and know your worth how to do in a corporate setting? Because it's not just for women in business is for women, working women, just working women? What do you need to be doing? How do you advance yourself? And it's, it wasn't so much about everyone here needs to be the CEO of their whatever? No, it's just how to be comfortable, and how to know your worth, and how to ask for more money, if that's what you're looking for, how to recognize micro aggressions, how to respond, and just a lot of stuff. And I walked away from they're so jazzed and so motivated and focused, like, Yes, I had all of this external banter. And there was a speaker on that. What we're going to talk about today, the inner critic, and this is what I needed to hear right now. Like I walked in with what I thought I needed to hear. But I walked away with what I really needed to hear. And for whatever reason, this time upon hearing it the, you know, 200th time, because those were all things that I have heard before, right, and I read books, you hear it here and there, you get a little pop up every morning, your inspiration. No, they, I hear it, I dismiss it, I move on, because I don't have time for that. That doesn't apply to me. I'm not trying to be the next CEO. But the way they presented it, it was direct. I was seen, I was heard, it was just a really wonderful experience, and how to be cognizant of how do people experience you? That was a eye opener of like, oh, I hadn't thought about that. Because you cannot experience yourself the way other people experience you. In your mind, you may be thinking one thing, your approach, you know, to a situation a circumstance, a conversation, could be one thing, but how it's received. You don't know that because in your mind, you know, you may be looking at people, and they're looking at you funny, and you're just like, what I just asked you to do X, Y and Z. And there could be so much hidden, meaning a tone that you're not hearing, because you're like, but I'm really passionate about this, but they're just like, she's really aggressive. And she's really pushy. And she's really demanding. And I was like, Oh, I hadn't thought about those kinds of things. Anyway, it was just like yeah,

did you ladies get to practice that like getting feedback on how you're coming? It

was just a weird just we did it with an opportunity to do that. But I took so many notes like I have three or four I think like five pages of notes and let me just read you a couple of things because I was like oh my god. Yes, influence is not can control. So you, you and you are influencing someone, you're not controlling that person, you have buy in from those people in what you believe, not you demanding and pushing and telling them what to do. But they're buying in because they believe in your mission in the mission. And there's a different thing that there is a difference. And we have to be aware of that. Because very people get that confused, finding connection, listening to understand, and not listening to respond. And that was one that I that really resonated with me, I really was like, I need to do that more. Your goal must be bigger than yourself. It can't just be like, I want a million dollars. So it's like, okay, yeah, you can do just about anything to make money, like you want it, you know, it could be good or bad, but you can do things to make some money. So your goal, what is it really fill yourself that you are overflowing to others. So it's not just, you know, being full of hot air, and you're constantly exhausted, you need to be full of life energy purpose, so much so that it flows overflows to other people, and it motivates them, it gives them energy. So you don't have to say a lot to get to the point, there isn't a lot of explanation. And a lot of like, I have to convince you to be on my side. Because there you are, your energy, your presence, your goals are just, it's bursting from you. And people look at you and say, I want some of that. I want to be a part of that, too. So they're coming and they're listening, and they're ready. They're open to receive, versus Why do I always have to? Why is it always a battle? Why am I always having to convince them? Right? Why is it so much discussion and conversation to get them? Like, why don't they just get it? What else? I mean, there's a lot of stuff that was just like, oh my gosh, oh, this is another one. Okay? That inner voice and limiting beliefs. And some of it is boys are taught to be brave. And girls are taught to be perfect. And there were lots of examples of that. But that really resonated with me. Because I remember, as a young girl, my sisters and I were not allowed to leave our block. We could go outside a play, but we could not leave the block. My mother knew if I had stepped across the block just to go talk to Gigi across the street. My mother would be on that porch so fast or good. That's in North America, come back here. What are you doing? Now my brothers, they had bicycles, they could go all over town. They could go ride with whoever, ricky, johnny and Bobby, where they were, who knows, but they were allowed to leave the block. And I was like, Ah, that's right. Like I had to sit and be a good hostess and watch the door. Make sure you know greet people, if anybody shows up, but then there's also like, don't be talking to strangers, but I hadn't, you know, recognize who's a stranger who's not a stranger? Alert my mom? Oh, yeah, mommy, somebody's here, you know, and then just sit there and listen. Right? Not you're seeing kind of not heard kind of thing. So I was like, ah, that is so true. But then being a woman in you know, our society. It's a the limiting beliefs are cultural, our familial could be religious, there are assumptions and their interpretations of what all of that means. And it is part of that voice, that negative voice that we have to deal with, that we as women have to deal with. We're constantly apologizing for things that we shouldn't be apologizing, we're apologizing to people, because we don't want them to feel bad. But then your purpose, your message, your whatever it is that your intent that you went there with, kind of gets lost.

That's that perfection thing, right? Like, we have to be perfect. We can't hurt anybody's feelings. We can stay in

that. Exactly. So yeah, I mean, it's it's a hard one. And then there's the fear, fear of failure. And this is the one that hit me for I've heard this. I've heard it over and over and over and over, and it just never ever clicked. I always dismissed it like yeah, whatever. Yeah, whatever. Like that was always my response. Like, I don't want to hear that right now or just I was just trying to be a battering ram. It was fear of failure, which I finally accepted and admitted that I have a somewhat paralyzing fear of failure, and simultaneously a fear of success. Because if I succeed, then what? How do I replicate that success? Or maybe it was so fraught with so many different things that I don't want to go through that, again, to achieve that success. And if I'm going to be a one hit wonder, then all eyes are on me, people are looking at me and expecting, you know, even more than next time. And I would be like, Oh, I don't want I don't want that. Because just as quickly as people are wanting to build you up, what I saw was, when you're up there just as quick to want to bring you down, which is

really relevant to what we're doing. We're putting something out to the world. And part of this podcast is being able to handle the accolades as well as the criticism, just the way it is, as I'm listening to you speak if we are embodying the things that you said in the beginning, like, just being so full, and in believing in what we're doing for a greater good other than ourselves. Then we come Silicon Valley.

Absolutely. So I'm gonna stop talking. No, no, I

like what you're saying. I mean, this is a great way to be in alignment with our hex. It's like, what's going on? This is the conversation. This is what's inspiring us and firing us up right now. This is what we need to be talking about.

So we put our topic so our topic let's you are the one that came up with a topic for this week. So well, okay,

so, and I heard you mentioned it twice. And I thought, yeah, let's do the inner critic. I mean, especially with all this information, this is a great guy.

So I spoke I said, you know some things because I was just really jazzed. But go.

Well, before we leave your thoughts. Let me ask you this. When you left the seminar, when it was over, at the end of the week, it sounded like, what would you say were the things that were in your mind that you kept thinking, I

need to commit to what I want, I need to embrace it, I need to own it, I want to want it, I need to say it, I need to believe it. That's what I walked away with. And that's what was my fire and it kind of got rid of a lot of noise, and helped me focus on moving forward in my life. So yeah,

what else happened?

It was an empowering feeling. Like, I mean, you asked me this way, like, Oh, why are you so happy? And I'm just like, because I know what I'm gonna do. Like, you can't stop me now. And I'm ready to be seen. I'm not so fearful about being seen. I'm not so like, I want to succeed, I want to fail, because it's okay. Like, I know, I'll be okay. Before, it's like, if I fail, oh, my gosh, that's it, I need to hide my head in a little corner. And I'll never be able to do it again. And everyone will be like, who was she gonna be thinking she could do X, Y and Z. But now it's, I'm a woman, I am human. And I am trying. That's it. And if you know, and if with each failure is a little success is knowledge is information. of, okay, don't do that. That didn't work, move on. You have to take a step, you're making an informed step with each mistake, because you know, what didn't work? Got that. Don't do that. But you keep going. And that's something that I would say to my children, right? Like, I would constantly be like, when you fall down, what do you need to do? You need to get back up kids, but I was not. Now I realized that kind of rang hollow because it wasn't incarnate. It was just stuff that I was saying. But I didn't necessarily believe that for myself. And I think that it was my fear, like because I didn't believe it for myself, right? Because I was so fearful of that I was trying to not pass that fear on to my children. If I say it long enough, hard enough, and enough times, they'll overcome it. But it's like, well, when were you going to do that? You know, when you charity. Going to believe that? And now in my 50

years mom is so tricky is tricky. That's

absolutely tricky.

And that's how It's like going back to what you said, like we need to be embodying it right? We need to be so full of our intention. I don't use that word, but so full of our intention that it just oozes out of us. We're not convincing anybody, like imagine if we didn't have to convince our kids and we just, but you know what we fake it till we make it and like you said, we have mistakes. And we just, we keep being drawn by this threads falling,

but how

do we know what's right grit,

that was another thing that they talked about having that grit, grit, the grit is what is going to define or decide if you are successful? Oh, and that was another little quote, and a piece of knowledge or nugget of knowledge that came out. There was a woman, Kimberly, and she was the key speaker. And she said that she had done all this research, she she was like really research based and whatnot, that the key to success that they found is not your competence. It's not your competence. Doesn't matter what your IQ is, how many degrees you have, you know how knowledgeable you are. It's your confidence. She's like, that is what decides if you are going to succeed, you're confident. So telling myself every day? Oh, I can't do that. I don't know enough. Oh, I didn't go to school for that. I didn't read a book about that I did. I'm not writing any papers about that topic. She's like, forget that. That doesn't matter. It's your confidence. Do you believe in what you're doing, selling, talking about wanting to achieve? And then you will keep going because you believe in it. And you have to believe in it first before anybody else. It's not you trying to convince anybody else. You have to believe like, that's just like, that's true. They have I don't believe it, it. I'm wasting my time.

Right? And energetically, it's not going out that way. You'll

get there. If you keep on walking, you're gonna stumble. But if you keep on walking, you keep taking those steps. Oh, another quote that came out of this weekend was don't shy away from difficult things. I am notorious for no way but like, I only go for sure things assure thing like, right, if I know that I'm going to win. If I know that I can succeed. If I know. At least I'll get you know, pretty close. Yes. But things don't like, oh, I don't know. That's gonna be kind of hard. And what's the point? Like, what am I gotta get out there, I've gotta like, fail, you know, spectacularly and I'm there, I'm not even gonna get the top prize or, you know, whatever. So then I don't do it. But doing the hard things is where the growth happens. She's like, that's where you learn that where you're building your foundation blocks. Each block is an error, a mistake, but it pushes you up and it gets you higher and higher, and closer and closer to your goal. Let me see. Oh, another one that I really liked was courageously intentional. I like that one. Don't live inside a box. Be willing to remove the box? Completely. Hell is like, yeah, because everyone's like, you got to think outside the box. And this one woman. Let's like get rid of the box. I just carry on that bus completely. There is no box, stop looking at the box or where's the box? Or I gotta know, there is no box. Guess what, not what you decide. It's your, you know, your destiny, your your future, you deciding, taking control taking ownership not? Well, they put this box there and I can't figure it out. And until I figure it out, I'm never gonna get anywhere. Like, there's no box. This is now my landscape. My, you know, Canvas, I can do whatever I want to do. I can make it look like I want to make it look like I can design it. However I want to design it. You are taking control of your narrative. You're taking control of your future. You're taking control of everything. taking ownership of it sounds like Yes. Get rid of the books.

Yes. And Brene Brown talks about that a lot about innovation is based in vulnerability. And I think that goes back to what you said. Go ahead and make a mistake. We have to be vulnerable. That takes a lot of old ability to be willing to make a state a mistake and to go forward confidently in something that we don't already have all the answers to that's vulnerable. We

were talking, you talked about creating your tribe, having your, your people, your group, your, you know, women to help inspire you. And they talked a lot about that. And the importance of having your tribe, because they will help hold you accountable. When you a good tribe, yes. Exactly. To your truth to your to who you are, and to what it is you're trying to achieve. So you know, if you say I want to, you know, have a business in the next two years, okay, that's good. But when you're saying, I'm really tired, do I really want to do this? You're a good tribe or be like, you said, you wanted to be a company owner. And now your your little tired? They're gonna go, that's good. I got you. How can I help you keep going? You know, keep going. They're not going to go like, yeah, you're right. That is exhausting. I wouldn't be doing that. It was like, No, forget that. Ooh, that other way. I just You need people that are like, Yes, I hear that you're tired. But you said you want it to do this. How bad do you want this? I'll help you. What do you want me to do? How can I help you, but you said you wanted to do it? You just gotta give up? Because you're a little tired. We'll know if I really want to do okay, get back in there and keep going.

Yep. And that, you know, it's interesting, you say that there's a very paternalistic, and a materialistic support, I think. And there, I like a balance of both. I like a little bit of that. And what I've really been learning in my tribes is the maternal way of supporting and motivating. And sometimes I've gotten to that where I've gotten, I've been in so many groups, and God, I've done so much. But sometimes I start with an intention. And then I'm like, No, I really don't want to do this, now that I've explored it. This isn't really authentic for me. And so the paternal might have said, come on. But the maternal part of my tribe will say, Well, what is it that you want to do, then, you know, what has been revealed? And where do you want to go next? You know, and sometimes it's just, you're tired? Take a break, yes, just take a breaks, you know, which the paternal side would never say, take a break. And why don't you go take a couple days off? And that has been a huge piece for me to understand. But yes, I see exactly where you're going with that as well. Like, a tribe, a community. Yes. support you in your hand.

You know, to be kind with yourself, be kind to yourself, it's okay to take a break. It's okay. If you are tired, you don't have to do it all. Even though in society that is the expectation that is what everybody expects women to do. We are mothers, we are daughters, we are sisters, we are you working. And then you do have this persona of, you know, you have to be perfect, and we get the blame for everything and anything that goes wrong and your house. Your kids do something crazy. It's your fault, because you weren't doing whatever you say, think you should have been doing. And one of the speakers Her name was Alicia. She was really cool. I really liked her and resonated with her. She is Korean. She was born in Korea. And she lives here now in the States. She came over and she was a toddler. But her mom lives with her and her grandmother lives with her. And Alicia is a realtor, this big, high power realtor out in Virginia. And she works and she works hard and she owns her own business. And you know, she's doing all of these things. She was talking about how her mom was apologizing to her husband, for Alicia not being a good wife. And oh, yes. And her response to her mom was mom saying that I'm bringing in 110% of the income that's running this, you know, ship. I think, you know, Johnny can do a few damn meals every now and then. Just like yeah, yes, that is right, like, so she's not making dinner every night either. But that's the expectation right? But that's also a cultural thing. But it's a cultural thing that also happens in the law. community. I know my mom and dad were like, especially my mom was like, Yeah, you're working. And then like, Did you wait, what did you make your husband for dinner tonight? Was like, nothing? Like, oh,

like it's generational to it is.

So it's just, it's coming from every where comes from everywhere.

So, as I'm assuming that I'm part of one of your tribes, what is your next step in? I mean, it doesn't even have to be big, like, what's something doable that you would like to do in that vein,

one of the things and I wrote this down was the podcast. Like I was doing it, and it was like, okay, yeah, you know, we're just doing, I'm learning that. But I made the conscious decision, I wrote it down. I was like, Yes, I want this podcast to succeed. Like, I really want to take it to the next level, and I'm gonna really, you know, prepare myself, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna wing it, I'm gonna do my research, have good and really learn all of the technical stuff that I've been kind of putting off, because I'm, like, tired, and I don't feel like it today. And I got some other stuff to distract me. But I was like, No, I'm going to do this, like not I'm not like expecting a rainfall of money or anything. But that's not the point. It's like, I just want us to put out a quality podcast with honesty and sincerity. And if we touch one or two people, like yes, and, you know, yeah, is that is it. That's the goal. That's what I want it to be just for us to put out a quality podcast. That's

great. Great. And we're, I mean, we're on our way, you've done a lot in that vein already.

Right, we have done a lot, we have done a lot,

we have to acknowledge our successes, too. Because if we don't feel like wherever succeeding anywhere, we're just gonna feel hopeless and tired for nothing, you know, but it's like, look how much we've already done. I mean, you've done most of it, you know, so give yourself a pat, I show up, I have ideas, but you're doing all the technical and going to the classes and Buzzsprout and website, you know, so there's a lot that's already we

have done a lot. Absolutely. And we have to remember to just go back and listen to why we are doing this. We want to create community, I that is really important. We want to be honest, that is really important. And be transparent. You know, be honest, be transparent, be present. So

yep. And one of my intentions on that, too, is anything that goes on here is for the highest and greatest good of all, you know, so like, this morning, when I was walking, I was praying in I was just asking, you know, fill me Spirit fill me with the words and the energy that I need to share my experience, strength and hope and maybe inspire somebody or motivate somebody, you know, bigger than myself. I mean, I already know this inspires and motivates me. I already know that, because this is part of my goals. But it would be so lovely. If this was for others as well. You know, I don't know what anybody needs. I'm not going to tell anybody what they need. I'm not going to convince anybody. But I know for me listening to other people's stories has spurred something has clicked something has, you know, given me headlights in a new direction. Yeah. So yeah, I kind of hope the same. And that I love that we're talking about the inner critic today. Because as a woman with the characteristics that you described being perfect, you know, we're not allowed to be brave. That's the other thing your your brothers were allowed to be brave. We were not so failure feels even thickness to us. You know, we don't have that support in were growing up, we were able to fail. And they said, Oh, it's okay. Go back out. That's a very masculine type of energy. So that inner critic, I think just jumps in, yes. You know, on that, subconsciously, without us even thinking about it or knowing about it. It's there. Hmm. And that and that awareness allows us to start shifting. So that came up for me because I'm in a writers group. Oh, yeah. And it's funny because I just posted on my Facebook page today about how I'm going to start sharing my writing pieces, because I was actually inspired by a movie called The tender bar. Oh, yeah. And it's a freebie on Amazon. And in the very last minute of the movie, he says, you know, when you set out to be a lawyer, you go to law school, you get a diploma for your effort, you pass the bar. And in the text, it declares you officially a lawyer. That's how most jobs work. But you're a writer, the minute you say you are, nobody gives you a diploma, you have to prove it, at least to yourself. And I was like, I heard I listened to that in January, and I thought, okay, then I just have to declare myself a writer. And I don't need to prove it to anybody else. I have to prove it to myself. So I did sign up to try to get into this really prestigious writers group out in Tahoe, and I submitted my first piece of work to be judged, really, which was really hard for me, this is this is vulnerability on a large scale. And they denied me. But first, because I believe this so much, I was not even upset. I was like, Okay, where's the next place? I can go, what's the next thing I can do? So I started sharing it with my community. And they've been with me every step of the way. They encouraged me to apply to that writers group, no matter what, just go and see what's gonna happen, you know, and then, and I built confidence in that. And I kept thinking, well, even if they don't let me in, I'm still gonna write Yeah. And so anyway, I shared it with my girlfriend, and then she shared it with a girlfriend, and that girlfriend is wonderful. And she is a woman in her 70s, who's a badass and who has done things. She started a retreat center that has lasted 2530 years, with absolutely no idea. And it has enriched so many people's lives, I can't even tell you the stuff on the website is just I read it, and my heart is overwhelmed with joy, you know. And so here's a woman. And anyways, so she shares it with her. And she tells me, Hey, I've got a lot of resources, my daughter's in a publisher, and I have stuff that we could talk about. So I called her and she explained to me, you know, are you looking to hone in on the skill? Or do you want to do the craft, there's a difference, you know, what do you need. And so I told her, and she funneled me into this writers group of women that are so beautifully welcoming, that are so vulnerable, that are showing up that are not judgmental, and this is a writers group, where we share our pieces every week. And there isn't really any criticism, it's how we may have been touched by a piece, how it's working, they will call out certain lines that stuck with them, you know, it's this beautiful way of supporting. So it's not like we are going to teach you how to get out there and submit your articles. And it's not that it's just build your confidence. And for me, I get to be around other people who are declaring themselves writers, and what that energy is like and how it feels to be in this energy. And then we're how I fit into it. And I'm a very mutable person. So in general, I want to make myself fit in. And in this case, I'm really, I see myself doing that. But I'm also coming as I am. So my inner critic tells me, You have no business being in this group of writers. They're fabulous. They are deep. They write in ways I wish I could write, they write in ways that make me go God, I wish I did that. But I'm showing up anyway. And and I'm telling my inner critic, it's okay, I hear you. I'm not cutting my inner critic off, because I've tried that before. And she gets louder. So now I'm saying, Okay, I see you, I hear you, I love you. You've protected me in the past, but now I want to let me fall down. You know, let me bruise myself, let me get back up. Just sit over there for a minute. And so I submit my stuff anyway. And I'm really realizing like I, I probably will never write a book. I like short, quick, sustained, succinct, I like it tied up in a bow at the end, I get really bored of myself when I try to write a story and it goes on and on and on. And instead of trying to make myself be that I'm like, I'm learning that I can be an essay writer, I could do prose. I know a lot of like, social media stuff is like three paragraphs. It's quick. And so this morning, I finally posted one of my writings online and I just I prefaced it with. This is just part of my process of gaining confidence to keep sharing my work because I have stacks of journals that will not be shared with anybody but that's not what it means to me to be a writer. It's not just for myself. It's always to inspire to share my experience, strength and hope Look and see where it goes, you know, with always good intentions, you know, even if it drags you down a dirty, ugly Road, maybe that's where you're supposed to go. I've been down some dirty, ugly roads, you know, and it's okay. It's okay. So my writing is very short. And these other writers are so prolific and they have such great vocabulary and their flow and their cadence, and I'm like, boom, boom, boom, boom, done. But that's, that's me. And I'm okay with that.

Jennifer, those people didn't just come out of the womb that way. They, it took time for them to get to that point. And even if you're, you think like, oh, no, but they're just awesome. It go back and look, well, how long have you been doing this? You know, and I'm sure whatever the first thing they wrote, and you look at what the last thing they wrote, that would be vastly different. So give yourself grace and give yourself time, you will get there you have committed to it, and it has opened and enlightened you to receive, right? And when you hear that inner voice, change that narrative, if it's telling you, you're not good enough, change it to like, Well, what do I have to do to be that whatever it is, like, whatever you're telling yourself, you know, like you pushed yourself to just put it out there, even you preference it with, it's part of my process. But you put it out there, just you don't have to silence the voice. You don't you can put the voice aside. But just, well, let's change what that voice is saying to me and see where that goes.

Yeah, well, thank you for your encouragement, I do appreciate that. And that was a big piece of just putting it out there anyway. And I'm, I'm really liking it, you know. And the other thing that I learned in this group, is because it's a group that meets regularly, I get this opportunity for repetition. And I learned really well through repetition. So every week, I have to write something. And every week, I have to put it out there. So I'm learning a new muscle, you know, and also, I realized in this process, it's okay to ditch a story. So I've always been a writer that when I'm inspired, I write it and it's done. I don't, I don't edit. I don't do second drafts, it's one and done. I've always been the way I do it. And if it isn't one and done, it's done forever. So this is teaching me how to actually be okay, through I've written pages for the next group and said, I hate the whole thing, scrapped it and started again, which I've never been able to do. So I'm learning and I'm getting outside that box that you talked about, you know, there is no box, it's very freeing. There is still a lot of freedom in that there is

there is no hold on, because you said you are one and done when you do your writing. But why why are you winning? Done? Why do you just want to write one time and call it a day?

Well, because I lacked confidence. And also, I think I'm lazy, like the thought of having to rewrite is like, Oh, I don't know, if I have all these hours, I gotta pick up the kids. I gotta make dinner. I gotta, you know, so. But I'm making space for that now, because it's my it's my value. It's important to me. You know, in all this work I've done of figuring out myself, this is my value for right now. It may change. But this right now is what's important to me. You know, of course, there's the taking care of my kids nurturing my kids taking care of the house doing my nine to five. But in my free time, instead of maybe watching three movies, watch one movie, and spend an hour right. And what's funny is now that I'm in this group, I want to write, like, in my free time I like I go grab my computer, and I'm like, oh, and I'll just start writing, you know, so it's been really cool. It's been a different way of approaching my dreams. And look at what book that my microphone was

by Jensen said, Okay, that's right, uplift that microphone. Raise You

badass at making money by Jen Sincero. And this was given to me my coach,

how did you I was gonna say how do you get a coach? How did you get a coach? Like, what's that about? Because I've often thought about that, like, I need a coach, I need a mentor. But how did you find the coach or how did you get connected with this coach?

So I knew I wanted to do live coaching for about since 2014 2015. And I've been looking for a good place to take my training. I haven't really found anything or there were a couple that I reached out to and they never got back. So I found this one. Oh my gosh. It came to me through a woman I met in a 12 step group out of nowhere, like it was totally random and I was like That's so random. I'm gonna fall Follow it. And then I did this. I did a coaching training many, many hours. And the woman that taught our group, I really liked her and I did personal coaching with her too.

Good to know. All right,

but if you're interested, I'm a coach, and I have many people that I would refer you to Okay.

We'll have to talk later. Because yes, I want to coat the approach in my life was validation or like, Is this okay? Is this okay? Like, am I doing the right thing? Like, did I do it? Right? Is this okay? But now it's just no, just having some informed and knowledgeable people around you. I can have confidence in what I'm I'm doing. But it's, it's good to have some support that knows what they're talking about versus them. I love you. I love you unconditionally. Uh, yes, you go, go, go. But am I going to make a good financial decision here? Or not? And it's not always good to just like, You got this, You go girl? Well, let's, you know, some of the asks you the questions, or makes you ask the questions of yourself, and the right kind of questions of yourself.

Exactly. Because the coach will never tell you what to do. If if there's a coach giving you advice. They're not coaching you they're facilitating, it's a whole different thing. Yes. But a coach will help you come to your own answers. Like we that's a big piece, we just ask the right questions. And, and then we have tools, of course to help you when you're stuck, and how to get you where you want to go. But we never tell you what you should do

a retreat center. Jennifer, you are part of my tribe.

It's so funny you say that. I think it's funny you say that, because I started my first like, I went on this huge, huge crusade to figure out who I was back in 2006. And the first seminar I went to in San Francisco 600 people, we were supposed to write down what we thought our purpose was. And I envisioned, I actually envisioned a Wellness Center. Because I was into physical health at the time, and I wrote it all out, I still have it. And it was like going to be like modern and different. And we were going to integrate natural and Western medicine and we're going to have meditate, we were going to embody the whole HEDIS. So as I'm getting older, I still feel that but I would love to have a retreat center that embody both, you know, because, for me, it's the whole person, like, specialization has become such a part of our society. You know, even when you go to a doctor, everybody's a specialist, it's hard to find a really good family practitioner. So I just want something really all encompassing, where people could choose. But I also know that when my dreams are too big, it's just too big. Like, I have to start somewhere. And I learned that in my coaching, you know, start with the smallest, most doable things. I have these big grandiose ideas, and they're not doable. But if I break it down to something I can chew on. Yes, I do. little piece. Yes. So I would love to do a retreat center. And mine is always in nature, yes to be. I don't want to hear cars. I don't want to hear helicopters. I just want to hear in nature. For the most part. I want people to be able to just be on the earth and really be on the earth. I mean, we walk on the earth all day. But honestly think about how many times your actual bare feet touched the Earth. Yes. It's not often we're either in a house or in shoes. And I just think that's so. But anyway, that's I could go on.

I'm right there with you. I absolutely believe in that I am. So there, we're putting it out there. We're putting it out there. And let's see what comes back. I have to say a lot. I have to do a lot. Like I'm just telling you a little bit. I don't have to say a lot. But now it's like, like, let's go let's do this. And so yeah, from where we started to where we are now. It's like wow, I can recognize a difference in myself. So we'll see you know, like after another 10 episodes like okay, where are we now do a little check in like so cuz we're getting ready to upload this. I mean, we've been doing this but we haven't uploaded it. So after this is like our start date,

launch date, June 17 2022. launch date, June 17 2022, which in numerology is 20 which is a to cooperation imbalance. We are so ready. We're cooperating on balancing and that's what needs to happen in a community within ourselves against our inner critic, or with our inner critic cooperation and balance

right and live courageously. That's all and say, Yeah, all right. All right. Yes, man. Let us end there.

Oh

yay. Thank you for listening to being effing honest with your hosts, Jennifer Wong and charity Rodriguez. Subscribe to our show wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you have a suggestion, question or topic you want us to talk about, connect with us at www being effing honest.com And until next time, we hope you're always being effing honest. Yay. Thank you for listening to being effing honest with your hosts, Jennifer Wong and charity Rodriguez. Subscribe to our show wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you have a suggestion, question or topic you want us to talk about, connect with us at www being effing honest.com And until next time, we hope you're always being effing honest