When we recorded our latest episode, we were just supposed to get together and talk through some show topics and logistics, but as Texas Governor Greg Abbot had just issued his “gender-affirming medical treatments constitutes child abuse” letter, we ended up discussing transphobia.
Both Jennifer and I were pretty charged up at that moment and somewhat in shock, so while our discussion was very impromptu, it was no less impassioned, which hopefully comes through loud and clear. Given our goal is to create safe spaces for people to engage in discussions, you can guess where we came down on such a heartless, loveless, and vindictive edict.
After the episode I realized I wanted to better understand what it meant to undergo the challenges of transitioning as a family. I also wanted to better understand labels and their importance and their meaning. Everyone likes to do their own level of deep research and so after catching this title on the shelf of a wonderful therapist friend, Lilli Rouleau, I decided to read My Daughter He: Transitioning with Our Transgender Children by Candice Waldron, which “describes the interior journey one mother took to let go of her beloved daughter so she could welcome her son.”
Essentially, it’s the story of the author’s family journey coming to terms with her sixteen-year-old daughter’s realization she needs to transition to a male to become his true self. This book resonated with me on many levels. As a teacher and parent, I often meet families with similar experiences and journeys; however, I admit I never asked about their experiences. If a name or pronoun change was offered, I took and use it consciously. It never felt like the right time or place to ask anything further…but that’s exactly the attitude that gives the Greg Abbott’s of the world the leeway to spread their hate.
I completely understand that reading one book does not make me an expert, but it did make me feel better prepared to ask the right questions to continue learning. Candice’s book presented their story and experiences in such an accessible way, that it allowed me to be less overwhelmed by the topic, or the emotional input and output required to be a better ally. Most importantly, it allowed me to become less ignorant.
It’s always easy to say I don’t know what that is all about and leave it at that because you don’t think it affects you, but it does affect us in one way or another and I just want to offer something that helped me. I’m just being f’ing honest…
